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  • Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them
  • Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it a hundred times
  • I don't curse, drink and smoke. H*ly shit! My cigarette fell in my glass of beer!
  • Dont steal, the government hates competition
  • If you hate me, i love you too. It ain't my fault i'm better than you
  • Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
  • Save a horse, ride a Cowboy!
  • The higher you are, the farther you fall
  • Intelligence could be instinct which has it at the wrong end
  • When life hands you a lemon, break out the tequila and the salt!
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