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  • Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most
  • If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws
  • I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun
  • Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark causechildren
  • Oh my god, you killed Kenny!
  • Panties aren't a mans best friend, but they are next to it
  • Statistics are used by people who have no proof
  • Divorce: from the Latin word meaning "to rip a man's heart out through his wallet
  • You'll never get rid of a bad temper by losing it!
  • If you act crazy all your life, they'll never be able to commit you
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